Monday, August 29, 2011

August and Everything After

That is a little snippet of a small painting I ended up buying at Italian Fest. I love it. The colors of the waves are perfect. My favorite. It makes me have a homesick, longing feeling that I don't even understand. The artist was very kind to Michael and I, talking about painting and art in general.

Today I had 8 hours of training for work up the road at the VFW. Actually, it wasn't too bad. I dreaded it because I knew it was about music and movement. Luckily, it didn't require too much participation and I made it through. The presenter was a man who, well, basically writes children's songs based on research on social and emotion skills developing in young children. It was quite interesting. He played keyboard and was very good at making up songs, from silly to sweet. They were extremely catchy.  He was very talented. The instructor from our classroom ended up winning one of his CDs and we are suppose to get another one for each of our classrooms. I'm looking forward to seeing how our children take to it.

After work, I went with Michael and Levi to go check out a Subaru for Michael. It ended up that there wasn't a notary open by time we got there. We will have to go back to do all the paperwork part sometime soon but Michael got to speak to the guy and express how interested he was in the car. I'm crossing my fingers that it all works out. It will all take time but I'm sure it will all work out. It was a nice little road trip anyway.

I guess apologizing on my blog is unnecessary but I really do have a lot of photos I was really excited to take and to share on my blog that I haven't got around to editing and uploading. My to-do list always seems to take a lot longer than I anticipate but I am still really pleased with myself for taking photos of things I enjoy more and more often. I still have a lot to overcome but no one said this would be easy. I've been working out a lot of thoughts and feelings lately. It has honestly been a really rough week and weekend for me. I am struggling a lot in many different aspects. Everything from friendships to financial problems are weighing on my mind. I'm thinking too deeply and highly of my past. It's something I have always done and it can get very crippling at times.

Another young Brownsvillian recently had got into a fatal accident. Though I have only met this person once before to my knowledge, it has, without a doubt, been pulling on my heartstrings to see my close friends, whom were his close friends, either presently or during childhood, have to go through this.... again. We are all still mourning here. There just seems to be a dark cloud over Brownsville. I have found myself crying at the death of people I don't even know now. This event has stirred up a lot of emotions in me, bringing back a lot of thoughts and feelings I had when Jake passed and again with Chuckie. It really just jolts you back to reality and makes you want to show appreciation from everything around you and everyone near you, old friends, potential friends, and all those in between. It's kind of an impossible task to complete and leaves me feeling a little hopeless, alone, and distant.

Well, I've poured my heart of more than I expected to on this post. As I continue to blog, I do find myself more motivated to take and post more photos but at the same time, I am becoming comfortable with my own words and my feelings and letting them flow a lot easier from my brain and my heart, out through my fingertips and onto the screen, for all the world to see. It kind of puts you in a vulnerable spot when you open yourself up like that but there is certainly something therapeutic about sorting things out mentally enough to... make them real? I hope that makes sense.

Tomorrow I work a very long shift from 8AM to 7:30PM. Our first Open House for families and children is tomorrow. I hope all goes well. It is going to be long day for us all. Luckily, I will get to adjust late in the week and leave early. Plus payday on Friday and Labor Day Holiday on Monday. That will help to get me through the rest of this week..

Off to adore the ferrets and escape reality for a little by watching Mad Men before bed.

xo, Linds

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