Wednesday, May 23, 2012
"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" Is that how that saying goes????
I'd say that lately I've had a pretty fair ratio of working my ass off and having good times.
This past weekend had it's ups and downs. Saturday, after one of the most trying mornings ever, I came home with a lot of Pike Day treasures and ended my night by the river, drinking with good, old friends. Followed by a typical, amazing, relaxing Sunday. Of course, Monday is the first, yet least favorite day of the week, but to counteract that, I called off Tuesday. I slept a much needed 12 hours and spent the rest of the afternoon with Michael and the ferrets. After that, Corpse and I escaped to the sweet city, where we saw Gogol Bordello and Primus. It was dreamy. That is the only way I can describe it. A lot of fun. However, I struggled to get to work today after only 3 or 4 hours of sleep. It was just one of those days where I really had to bite my tongue all day. As much as I just wanted to go home and curl up one the couch to take a nap, I had to go to the baseball field after work and take some sports photos. I'm not going to lie, I prayed for rain all day, but in the end, I'm glad I got that over with and out of the way. It's some easy, extra cash to go towards my new camera fund. As much as I am still dragging this evening, I must admit, I'm still in after-concert high mode. Just floating along, giddily. I'm glad this feeling can remain untouchable though everything else.
Now what will tomorrow bring? Who knows. So often I feel as though I'm pushed to the point where want to give up, especially at work, but I just can't. Something keeps pushing me to keep going and move forward. I feel like there is a name for this particular gut feeling but I can't pinpoint it. I guess I just know deep down that it all pays off. Even though, I have this little evil, doubtful voice in my head constantly telling me otherwise.
A friend and I have been chatting a lot recently about life and she said something along the lines of how.. the good times make the hard times worth going through and how nothing great comes easy. This is all true. At least when I can slow down and think about it, it seems like it makes sense. I wish I could remind myself of these little tidbits of advice when I'm having my rough days, but alas, the wisdom always seems to be the last part of the whole process.
Well, I'm not so sure there is even a point to be made here and why it is that I keep writing posts like this over and over. Like I said, I certainly have my fair share of good times and bad times. That's human and well, I'm human. As much as I want this blog to be my happy, private little sanctuary corner of the world wide web, I guess I write like this because when I look back, I know first and foremost, I'm going to remember the good times and memories and successes, but at the same time, I want to make it clear to myself when I reflect on situations and times, how I got to this point and all the effort and hard work and struggle that can be involved. This honesty will hopefully break my obsessive thinking about how everything good is in the past and nothing will ever compare. This is a rut I often find myself in. I suppose it's just kind of a mental note to myself during those times when I'm really trying to find the strength to make it through the day.. saying that everything is okay, this is normal, things will and do get better, and they aren't truly as bad as they seem . Just be patient and just keep living.