My camera and I

 

While going through some old SD cards, I found some interesting photos that sparked some inspiration. Now first of all, I don't even believe I took these photos, judging from the reflection in these photos. It must have been Corpsey using my old Vivitar camera. Though, a lot of the images and concepts seems so familiar, but I don't really know. I can't place what year this would be. I need to inquire with Corpsey about that and see what year it was that she got her hearse, Gristle. I definitely know that I had Nixon the Nikon at the time. For some reason, on my computer it is saying 2003 but that is terribly wrong. I just thought they were some very interesting angles and perspectives. When I came across them, it brought back kind of warm fuzzy memories. Yeah, I know, they're pictures of graves and whatnot, but that's where I spent a lot of time getting to know a lot of my cameras actually. Plus, today I had a very nice, motivating conversation with my photographer friend, Caroline. She spoke to me about making the leap to do photography full time and we exchanged some thoughts on just generally doing what you love and how to balance it all and how to know if it's worth it. I would say photography is my passion. Yes, maybe even my dream. I'm still saying.. photographer for the Rolling Stone. Far fetched, I know, but that's the fun part about having dreams. I thought about my relationship with my cameras over the last decade, but most recently my Nikon's. My camera is sometimes like a person to me. We have a love hate relationship sometimes. It can be totally frustrating, but definitely in all the right ways. I don't say this often, but I want to learn. I want to have knowledge about my camera. I want to be one of those dorky people who can call out ISO and aperture and F-Stops by looking at any lighting or situation. I think I'd be happy. At the same time, I don't want to make my love become a chore. I don't want to burn out. I don't want to overdo it. I guess when it comes down to it, you will know when you are ready to take the leap, to give up everything and pursue your passions. Maybe you will know. Maybe you wont, I guess, but to honest, I was thinking, if I never become whatever you consider professional and if I never make money off of it and if my only satisfaction are my own prints hanging on my own walls of my little apartment.. I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm totally okay with the fact that I might always still be practicing and experimenting and never go any further. I do believe my camera will always be a very special thing in my life, more so than the average person. I don't know what the means or what it will become but I know it makes me happy. I know. It feels good to say that with confidence because there's really not much in life I am very sure of. Thinking, discussing, and just rambling on about it just fuel the fire. As do coming across old photos and seeing the potential and the growth and wondering what the future holds for my camera and I.

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