Saturday, October 13, 2012
Death really stirs my brain up. Anytime I hear about someone passing, it effects me so hard. Even if it's not someone I knew personally, I know that there are people out there hurting and wondering how to go on and who will never be the same, even though the world refuses to quit spinning. It's just such a huge reality check. To know that time is so precious and not promised is probably the scariest concept ever to me. My mind wont shut off today. Part of me just wants to curl up and let time pass me by but the other part of me wants to get up, get out there, and be happy and make the most of what little time I might have. I want to let every living thing know how much I love it and how important it is to me. I somehow don't have the strength in me to do this, though. I know it's inevitable. I know it's unfair. I know it's all out of my control. However, I do have control over the now, I guess. As much as I hate how heavy my heart is today, I got to suck it up, I got soak up and make all the memories with my friends as much as I possibly can. It's just so hard to go on living when you never know what going to happen next. My head and my heart are such a mess today.